A Young Wife’s Tale

For me, being a wife to a chronically ill husband is like being a communication device. Maybe not all men have trouble communicating, but David definitely has a hard time verbalizing his pain and suffering. It’s actually one of the most frustrating aspects of having a husband with an invisible chronic illness. I get really angry when David doesn’t tell me he’s hurting. I get so upset when someone at church asks him to help move heavy furniture and he does it instead of saying, “Sorry, I can’t.” It’s like he wants to be the strong, silent type.

The reason I go with him is because David tends to put on a happy face in front of other people. I’ve lost count of the number of people who’ve told me, “You’d never know David had arthritis.” He doesn’t complain. He minimizes his symptoms, even with his doctors.

If you asked me what Psoriatic Arthritis is, I’d say it’s a terrible disease that has changed my life. It’s debilitating and frustrating and taking some Aleve won’t cure it. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions. That David has arthritis like your Grandma got arthritis in her fingers when she was 80 and couldn’t knit any more until the doctor gave her Celebrex and now she’s doing great. It’s not the same kind of arthritis at all.

Today is my SITS Day! “The Secret is in the Sauce” is a wonderful group of women bloggers who support each other through comments. I have come in contact with so many great bloggers through SITS and received encouragement, support and advice. I highly recommend you check them out.

What’s the best thing for David when he flares? David soaks in a hot bath with epsom salts every day. When he flares, he takes additional hot baths. Sometimes he will use a heating pad or Therma Heat patches. Often when he flares the doctor will give him an injection of arthritis medication directly into his back. There’s really not a whole lot we can do except wait it out. David has tried acupuncture, but it is a bit expensive, although it does provide considerable relief.

What helps your jaw when it’s hurting? Rest and relaxation. I try to eat soft foods like mashed potatoes and yogurt when my jaw hurts, so that my jaw can rest. Relaxation through exercise, massage therapy, playing the piano, etc. helps quite a bit. When my jaw pain was very bad a few years ago, I would sometimes drink hot beverages to relax my muscles. I wish you could have seen me with my mouth full of Chai Tea Latte leaning to one side to hold the hot liquid where I wanted it.