A Young Wife’s Tale

The week of September 12-18, National Chronic Invisible Illness Awareness Week, David started getting red welts or hives on his torso. Just a few at first, and I initially thought it was the psoriasis. I immediately went into panic mode, assuming the Humira had stopped working on his Psoriatic Arthritis, and that he was going to start having the terrible flares that leave him bedridden again. David quickly figured out it wasn’t psoriasis. He took Benadryl, and the hives went away.

The next day they came back, only worse. He saw our family doctor who gave him some allergy medicine. I make our laundry detergent and cleaning products, and nothing new had been introduced. David wasn’t using any new shampoos or soap.

This went on for days. Allergy medicine would clear up his skin, but the welts kept coming back. Then one afternoon while I was at my part-time administrative assistant job, David started having trouble breathing. The allergic reaction was making his throat close up.

I don’t know that I’ve ever used David’s arthritis as an excuse to get out of something, but I have said these words a few times, “Honey, I’m not glad you have arthritis, but I’m we don’t have to go to X because of your arthritis.” Terrible, I know. It’s so difficult for us to get out and do stuff, you’d think I’d jump at every opportunity to leave the house.

Here’s my first ever podcast!

Episode 1 – Christmas with Chronic Illness

Click above to listen.

For me, being a wife to a chronically ill husband is like being a communication device. Maybe not all men have trouble communicating, but David definitely has a hard time verbalizing his pain and suffering. It’s actually one of the most frustrating aspects of having a husband with an invisible chronic illness. I get really angry when David doesn’t tell me he’s hurting. I get so upset when someone at church asks him to help move heavy furniture and he does it instead of saying, “Sorry, I can’t.” It’s like he wants to be the strong, silent type.

This is my first blog post. It was originally published on April 25, 2009.

I went for a physical a few weeks ago. My most dreaded day of the year. The doctor spent the entire time talking to me about David’s arthritis. He was really nice and encouraging. He had great advice, but when I got in the car afterwards, I couldn’t help but think, “Hey! That was my physical! Why were we talking about David?”