Hebrews 10:19-25 (ESV)

19Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Well, it’s official. David and I are members of a church here in New Jersey. We joined with mixed emotions. We’re happy to have a church home, but we want to be back in our Dallas church.

Many of the other churches we visited here were not friendly. At one church, no one spoke to us, even when they handed us a bulletin. This church has made us feel quite welcome. They’re quite accommodating to people with disabilities. It’s quite impressive for a church that averages less than 100 on Sunday mornings. Most importantly, they have excellent, Biblical, expository preaching. We’re very blessed to have found this church, and we hope to be a blessing to them, as well.

Church membership and being active in a home church is important to David and me. Christ loved the church. He called it his bride. There are many examples in the New Testament of how important the church is to God. If you’d like to learn more about why church membership is important, I’d recommend Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris.

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Sunday morning we were on our way to our Dallas church when we saw a stray dog running along with it’s leash trailing behind it. David pulled over, and we saw that the dog was in distress. It looked like a pure bred Labrador. Although it was wearing a leash, it had no tags, so we couldn’t call the owner. We had bottled water with us, but it took us along time to get it to drink.

David called animal control, and they said it would take them awhile to come out to us. They suggested we bring the dog to the shelter. We called David’s father and asked him to bring his truck. I was worried that the poor dog had ticks and fleas. Getting those out of the car upholstery would have been a nightmare.

We got the dog to the shelter and because the dog had a microchip we know this story has a happy ending. The dog’s name is Bella.

Afterwards, David’s church clothes were disgusting. He had a casual outfit in the car that he changed into once we finally made it to church. I got to hear the last ten minutes of the sermon.

I was disappointed that we hadn’t been on time. I’d so been looking forward to worshiping with our church family. However, it was their week to observe the Lord’s Supper, and being there for that was very nice.

I told David he was a nice man for rescuing that stray. He told me he felt bad because he’d never done the same for a human.

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Sunday we visited a wonderful church. The people were so kind and friendly. It was so different from the other churches we’ve visited in South Jersey.

Many churches here have hard wooden pews. This church has padded chairs which is a big plus for David’s back pain. The church is about five minutes from our apartment. David and I both enjoyed the hymns although we were a little startled to see an accordion next to the piano! The sermon was good, expository preaching. The pastor was out of town, and the old pastor who is retired came back to preach. We’ll definitely be visiting again!

In August we’re going home for a week. David is going to be the best man in his best friend’s wedding.

We’ve decided to drive down. Flying is really difficult for him, but he’s pretty comfortable in our car. It’s a 24 hour drive from Camden to Dallas. We’ll break it up into two 12 hour days and spend the night at a pet friendly hotel. Boarding Henry is ridiculously expensive.

I’m going to spend an entire day doing crafts with my mother, and an entire day with Maegan probably talking and eating Texas food. David and I fell asleep one night telling each other all the Texas food we want to eat on our trip. Whataburger ketchup and french fries, Mena’s tamales, the Santa Barbara at Celebrity Bakery, On the Border and El Chico’s everything…

Also, we’re looking forward to seeing David’s brother-in-law, Rodney. Rodney was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Please pray for him as he starts chemotherapy. And as the wife of a chronically ill man, I would really appreciate prayer for David’s sister, Melissa. This is just as hard on her as it is on her husband.

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It was a rough weekend. The hours at my part time job have changed so I’m no longer driving home in rush hour traffic. This has taken a lot of stress off me. However, Friday afternoon there was a chemical spill on I-635. It took me three hours to get home. It was insane.

David’s arthritis has been pretty bad lately. David had to leave church early two Sundays in a row in January. His back and neck hurt too much for him to sit down that long. Sunday week he had to take a pain pill before church so he’d be able to make it through the services. Yesterday he was bedridden.

This is so frustrating and discouraging, especially since David’s Humira injections have increased to every 10 days instead of every 14. He’s supposed to be going into remission! Why is he flaring now? He’s gone all winter without being bedridden.

David’s job search continues. He’s been approached by a few out of state companies looking to hire a developer with his particular skills. We’ll see what happens.

Thank you all so much for your prayers!

Love,
A Young Wife

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David made the difficult decision to step down as a deacon at our church. Hopefully it will be a short leave of absence until the Humira starts working and his arthritis is in remission. We’ve been praying about this for months.

It’s tough for David, not being able to serve at full capacity. Sometimes he’d serve at church and fight through the pain only to be wiped out for days afterwards. We are not certain why, but Sundays are David’s worst days. Maybe it’s the week catching up with him.

It’s been hard on me not being able to discuss the situation until David spoke with our elders. It just didn’t feel right to tell anyone, “Hey, I don’t think David should be a deacon anymore.” Maybe that’s weird or wrong. It just felt like it would have been complaining or gossiping.

Our elders have been so kind and gracious. They’ve really done an excellent job handling our situation, and we are so blessed to have godly church leadership. I was especially impressed that they made a point of telling our congregation that it was David’s decision. No one in the church asked David to resign because of his health. We are proud to say our church clearly does not discriminate because of disability!

This was a very difficult decision for us. Thank you all for your prayers, and a huge thank you to our church for bearing our burdens with Christ-like love.

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It’s National Chronic Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Check out this website for more information.

Over the years we’ve heard some cruel comments about David’s arthritis.

Before David received his diagnosis, I went to Sunday School by myself one Sunday. A man asked me where David was. I told him that David was home because of back pain. His response, “Well my back hurts all the time. I’m still here.” We don’t go to that church any more.

That one was probably the worst. David doesn’t get his feelings hurt like I do. In fact, often, I’ll be upset about some hurtful thing someone has said, and he’ll be like, “What? Who said that? I didn’t hear that.”

Ha, ha, rude people. My husband isn’t even listening to you!

Most of the negative things people say aren’t meant to be mean or rude. They’re just said out of ignorance, such as people saying I shouldn’t be doing David’s work around the house.

Sometimes loved ones will even make comments that sting. Usually, if it’s someone we’re close with, I’ll try to explain the situation. Everyone knows David has arthritis, but sometimes I have to explain in nitty, gritty detail how bad it is. But, a lot of people, even people we love, just don’t get it. If you have a chronic illness, tell me, when and how far do you go trying to explain your situation to ignorant folks?

We’re prepared for an onslaught of negative comments once we get the handicap parking permit. David doesn’t look sick, hence the invisible illness. I’m sure we’ll get all sorts of busybodys telling us we’re going to jail and hell for using the handicap parking reserved for the elderly people that really need it. I need to craft a standard response to these comments. Any suggestions?

I guess I could take the high road and not get down to their level and say, “My husband has debilitating Psoriatic Arthritis.” But wouldn’t it be so much more effective to hand them a phamplet on National Chronic Invisible Illness Awareness Week? Or a Pamprin?

How about this, “Jesus loves you and me and my husband. I don’t know why he has arthritis, but maybe it’s so that we can tell people like you about how he died on the cross for your sins. Have you heard the good news? Are you a Christian?”

Then David would probably tell them that the permit is really for me because I have a mental handicap.

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Here’s the rest of David’s story…

…or so it would seem to be never ending. If you haven’t read my previous post read it here before continuing. The reason I was so happy when i was diagnosed is because I thought “Ok, this guy is a renown rheumatologist and medicine will fix this.”

Medicine helps a lot of things, but I didn’t understand arthritis like I understand it today. Arthritis is a tricky thing with many causes, some untreatable and some easily treated. There is a great deal known, but still some unknown. I figured that this was something they knew backwards and forwards.

So I went on the medications, and I was very hopeful and happy believing this would work. We would go for the regular checkups and do exactly what the doctor said. I am not exaggerating when I say this: I had to wait 4 hours every time I went to see him. I got used to being two hours late or so just so I could wait less. I had to see him every eight weeks to make sure my liver wasn’t failing. But weeks turned into months, and a year later I was still hurting, feeling worse than ever and had a lot of medical expenses and time down the drain. My back was getting so bad I had to go into the doctor’s office and get injections in my back so I could tolerate the pain. Sometimes it’s very hard for me to walk, and once it got so bad i was on the couch for three days till I could go to the doctor cause it was the weekend.

We asked the doctor what we should do, and that’s when he said, “Oh everything I’ve been giving you doesn’t help the back only the fluid joints.” Though for six months at the end there and when I first talked with him I told him my back hurts the most and is the biggest problem. He prescribed Humira, and the pharmacy told us that it would cost $15oo a month. After exhausting every resource available at the time we were able to get that down to $1000 a month. Thing is Humira can take about six months to start working. We’d need to find six grand somewhere just to see if it would work, and it’s not possible for us.

We asked the doctor what we should do since we can’t afford the Humira or any drug similar. It seemed like my arthritis would be unending. He said there is nothing that can be done. It’s Humira or nothing. It was then that we decided to find another doctor. When we tried to switch, the new doctor charged more than the insurance would pay. It would cost us about $300 a visit.

Then we decided to try one of our doctor’s colleagues. He listened to us, answered our questions, prescribed drugs to help with my back and neck. He switched me to some drugs that do the same thing as the old ones, but won’t require  blood tests all the time and are safer. The meds have reduced my pain levels by about 25%.

It’s been a long hard road, but God is good, and He is faithful. He  is The Good Shepard, and He has gotten me through the valley of the shadow of death. He has delivered me from evil. I will trust in Him all the days of my life.

Now that I have gotten some relief I have hope that Humira’s financial assistance program will look more closely into the situation and provide me with the means to get it.

My wife has helped me through this time immeasurably. My families aid, support and encouragement have strengthened me. My friends’ help has meant a lot and has been greatly appreciated, My church’s prayers have been blessing. But I could not have made it this far without God; every moment He is with me. Though my body has been weakened, my faith is strengthened and in Him I find rest.

One last post to follow…

Tuesday we see the rheumatologist. I’m asking for a handicap parking permit, and we’ll fax the Humira financial assistance paperwork. I’ll post ASAP to let you know what happens. – A Young Wife

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