A Young Wife’s Tale

Being married with a chronic illness can be very trying, however. Here are some tips that have helped Doug and me in our ten year marriage (and illness!)

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Make sure you both feel able to express emotion without penalty. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to vent, vent. Be clear about what you’re trying to express. One thing that has helped Doug and me tremendously is that we repeat back what we heard the other person say. You would be amazed at how different those two statements can be!

For example, Doug might say, “Man, I didn’t sleep very good last night. I’m tired.” And I might HEAR, “You kept me up all night coughing and needing suction and I resent you for it.” See what I mean? He really, truly just could have been making a statement. Do. Not. Assume.

This post is a meme from ProBlogger.

*Your first post

My first blog post was about my physical. Physically, my doctor said I was fine, but he was concerned about my mental and emotional state. He encouraged me to find people my age who were dealing with chronic illness and taking care of their spouses. That physical was a catalyst for my blog.

Four years ago today, David and I said our vows.

It seems that there is a shortage of MDs here in South Jersey. I searched for the various specialties from the list of doctors in our area given to us by our new health insurance company. First, I needed a doctor for myself. I found a short list. Many of them were DOs, not MDs. DOs are great, I’m sure, but we already see a chiropractor and sometimes an acupuncturist. We already get the holistic side of medicine from them. I think we’re allowed to want MDs given our past medical histories.

You might be a couple with chronic illness if…

In your opinion, the most important part of marriage vows is “in sickness and in health” and you give books about chronic illness and marriage as wedding presents.

You refer to the restaurant next to your specialist’s office as “our place”. You have so many memories of that restaurant.