A Young Wife’s Tale

A day in the mind of a caregiver. On any given day, these thoughts may pop into my head:

Remind him to take his medicine.
How are we going to pay this medical bill?
Thank you God that the drug manufacturer pays for David’s Humira. We’d be living with our parents if we had to pay $1500 a month for that one medicine.
Do we have to do an injection today?
Quick! Pack a nutritious lunch that meets all his dietary restrictions!
I need a Diet Coke.

Being married with a chronic illness can be very trying, however. Here are some tips that have helped Doug and me in our ten year marriage (and illness!)

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Make sure you both feel able to express emotion without penalty. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to vent, vent. Be clear about what you’re trying to express. One thing that has helped Doug and me tremendously is that we repeat back what we heard the other person say. You would be amazed at how different those two statements can be!

For example, Doug might say, “Man, I didn’t sleep very good last night. I’m tired.” And I might HEAR, “You kept me up all night coughing and needing suction and I resent you for it.” See what I mean? He really, truly just could have been making a statement. Do. Not. Assume.

The Aftermath or My Recovery from David’s Flare Up Part 2 I’m getting the house under control. I just dusted the whole house, in the hopes that it would make my throat feel better. My allergies are always severe in the fall, and they’ve started up early this year, probably due to all the rain [...]

If you take care of a loved one with a chronic illness or an invisible illness, what do you do when you get sick? Here are a few tips. 1. Call a friend and ask them to bring you soup or cough syrup. Send them a text message or email if your throat hurts. 2. [...]

1. Make sure you have a support system. For me, this is my family and a few close friends. You may want to utilize a Sunday School teacher, a counselor, or a support group for caregivers. Check out Rest Ministries Hope Keepers groups.
2. Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, have a hobby. The healthier you are spiritually, mentally, and physically, the better you will be able to help your spouse.
3. Educate yourself. Read everything the doctors gives you. Do research on the internet. Read up on your health insurance. Get to know your pharmacist and ask them questions about your spouse’s meds. Knowledge is power.