My Heart is Telling Me It’s Time to Have Children
17 Aug
Disclaimer: I wrote this when I was feeling really down. I had just looked at all the medical bills we put on our credit card last month. I don’t feel like this very often, so don’t worry too much if I freak you out with this post.
While I was in Dallas, I went into Strasburg Children at The Shops at Willowbend. While I was exclaiming over the beautiful clothes, the manager asked if I had children, and I told her, “No, but I have nieces and nephews!” She then told me, “Maybe your heart is telling you it’s time to have children.”
Yes. Yes, it is.
She was very sweet, and told me about her daughters. She said she believes they are her “rewards” from God. We chatted for a bit, and she seemed like such a nice woman and wonderful mother.
David and I really want to have children. It’s kind of ridiculous how much. Some people say that if you have a dog or cat you can get some of that parenting instinct out of the way by babying your pet. We just look at Henry and say, “Won’t it be great when our kids are old enough to play with Henry?”
I’m tired of people asking if we have children. As soon as we tell them no, they start in saying, “Well, that’s okay. You’re young.” No, we’re not young. We have the health of a middle aged couple.
I really don’t like chronic illness and medications interfering with our ability to have children. It’s just not fair.
I don’t like using the term infertility to describe our situation. It seems disrespectful to people who’ve had miscarriages or tried IVF or fertility treatments. I’ve never even been pregnant. Still, I’m not sure what else to call it.
Please don’t tell me we should just “try” in spite of what our doctors are telling us. Please don’t tell me that it will all work out, blah, blah, blah. Yes, I know that God is in control. Yes, he ordains all things for his glory. That doesn’t make this fun or mean that I have to like it.
Stupid arthritis.
You don’t have to feel disrespectful. You have your own challenges to deal with and that makes it hard! No matter what it’s something you want, but can’t have. The same way with infertility or miscarriage. Words can’t really help you..I hated the words “it will all work out” when I had my m/c. But even though you don’t like to hear it it will work out..lol (sorry had to say it! lol) I hope you find peace in whatever happens.
I’m sorry, sunshine. I used to get those questions about when my boyfriend (now husband) was going to propose to me. I think it’s okay to feel down. You don’t have to apologize for how you feel.
Stopping by from SITS
I’m not going to “tell you” anything.. I’m just going to send you hugs from afar…
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You can call it whatever you want. Some might not like it, but how you feel in your heart is what matters.
Sometimes you just have to say how you feel. That’s a good thing. This is a big hug from me to you! I’m praying for you!
It was the opposite with me. I was the one with the arthritis. The Dr’s told me when I was pregnant that I could either get better, stay the same, or get worse both during and after the pregnancy. I got better during the pregnancies but 6 months almost to the day after the babies were born – and this happened twice- I suddenly got worse. Way worse. After the third child the Dr’s recommended that we don’t have any more. Given my health, we prayed about it and finally agreed that they were right. I had 3 boys in 4 years. God blessed me with a helpful husband and my boys have learned to do everything around the house that needs to be done when I can’t. It drew us close as a family. They also learned to be compassionate toward others. They are now all grown and I am almost an empty-nester. God has certainly blessed me and I don’t look forward to the days when they are not around.
I was listening to a Christian music station and the wife of one of the music artists said when her husband was diagnosed with MS she learned that sometimes you have to just sit in the hurt – acknowledge the pain – don’t deny it. That has really stuck with me and I think of it on bad days.
Prayers.
No opinions or advice. Just hugs and prayers. Email me sometimes. You know about a little of our struggle of chronic health issues and pg.
Love you!