The Chronic Illness
25 Apr
My husband, David has Psoriatic Arthritis. He was diagnosed a year ago, at age 23. He’s only ever had mild psoriasis on his scalp. We actually didn’t know it was psoriasis until the rheumatologist told us. David has a family history of rheumatoid arthritis, so we were relieved to know he does not have the rheumatoid factor, although I recently learned that it could develop into rheumatoid arthritis.
David takes several different medications. The rheumatologist thinks he should go into remission. It could be today, it could be next year. There’s no time frame. The cold really bothers him, as do changes in the barometric pressure. He takes two or three baths a day with epsom salts. He sees a chiropractor a few times a week, and gets a massage or two every month.
And still, with all that, he’s in constant pain. It’s miserable.
The arthritis is so bad we’re selling our beautiful home because David can’t handle the stairs when he has a flare up. The last severe flare up completely immobilized him. I couldn’t leave him. My parents brought us meals. His parents brought us groceries. We need to be closer to our family in case it happens again.
Everyone keeps telling David he needs to exercise. But how exactly is he supposed to do that when it’s a struggle to get out of bed in the morning?
The arthritis is quite a strain on our marriage. David goes to work and then crashes at night. He’s not up to going on dates. Most evenings we’re sitting at home watching a movie. We can’t go to the movie theatre because it’s difficult for David to sit in the chairs for so long. If we take the dog for a walk, it’s a good day. But there is no going to the mall, no bowling or putt-putt. No fairs, no opera. Nothing that requires sitting or standing for any length of time.
David can’t help around the house. He can’t help me move furniture or bring in groceries. Sometimes without thinking I’ll ask him to help me with something. And sometimes he does something stupid like play duck duck goose with kids at church. Then he’s in agony for days afterwards, and I’m resentful.
Even though it totally sucks that my husband has PSA, we really are very blessed. David has a good job. He can even work from home when he’s having a very bad day. Frankly, the fact that he’s still able to work is a huge blessing. We have health insurance. Our family lives nearby. We have the prayers and support of our church. And you know, at least we know what’s wrong, and he’s being treated.
It’s terrible…the suffering that goes along with chronic illnesses. My thoughts are with you and your husband. Such young lives with needless burden.
My father was sick with MAJOR illnesses his entire life. Everything was an emergency. We never knew where we stood. And I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I feel your pain.
Stop by my web site if you have a chance. I can see the humor in a lot of things…maybe another laugh or 2 for you.
Over from SITS.
I have 7 chronic illness: Psoriasis, psoriatic athritis, congestive heart failure, atrial flutter heart problem, diabetes, chronic anemia, stage 4 kidney failure. I have pain and itching everyday, but I have learned to cope by helping others, taking my med faithfully, using my talents, keeping educated on each, and most important laughing at what can be a source of depression if I would let it. Crying helps too as it is a God given way of relieving stress.
Carolyn, helping others is a wonderful way to cope with chronic illness! Thank you for sharing your story!
I am so sorry things are so bad. You are indeed lucky he can still work and that your rheumatologist is so optimistic about your husband finding remission. I am hoping for the best for you two.
How many times do we take things for granted. Things like being able to get up and go about our day without impairment. Your husband serves as a reminder to all to be grateful of what we do have. More importantly, since we have, to never forget those who do not.
Even in your suffering and that of your husband, you are giving a gift to all. A reminder of how precious life is and that we need to take care of and appreciate what we do have.
Having just passed our 25th anniversary, your posting tugged at the old heart strings.
Working both in hospice nursing and as a holistic nurse, although seeing chronic illness every day, until severe illness afflicts people, there is something that most never see or understand. Many do not appreciate that we do not get sick alone. When we become ill, a whole village is affected.
Thanks for reminding us of what we have.
Best wishes.