Comments on: AGHHH!!! http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/ Hand me another Diet Coke. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:37:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Young Wife http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-197 Young Wife Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:06:07 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-197 Dayna, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers. David and I are not praying about his health together, just individually. I'm glad you asked. We should start praying about it together. Dayna, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers. David and I are not praying about his health together, just individually. I’m glad you asked. We should start praying about it together.

]]> By: Dayna http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-196 Dayna Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:06:14 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-196 Illness can cloud a person's judgment. Fatigue and pain make us irritable, irrational, irresponsible, and even combative. He needs you to do exactly what you're doing, whether he thinks so or not. If you stopped, where would he be? It's not just a submission issue, either. You two have become one flesh and that flesh has to be cared for, even when it's difficult. I often tell Daniel that I am his "refinement process." I say so jokingly, but I know it's true. Maybe this is part of yours. :) I'm kind of rambling here, but the core of it is you have to persist. Being agressive about his care doesn't mean you're not submissive. It means you're keeping your vows and will have a satisfactory answer for God someday when He asks how you handled these trials. Maybe you need to go further. Maybe you need to make the appointments and show up at work to take him. Or find creative ways to reward him when he takes his medication (cookies, X-Box time, massage, etc.). And it's okay to go before God in prayer when you're angry, exhausted, and frustrated. Just don't stop going to Him with all your needs. When you're feeling especially tried and in need of strength, post here and on FB that you need prayer NOW and then trust Him to fill you up as we lift you up. Most of us struggle with feelings that He isn't listening or doesn't care, but we have to trust Him and His promises and not our own doubts. Take a minute with God now and re-commit to glorifying Him with your role as David's wife and greatest earthly blessing. I will commit now to praying for your strength and spirit daily for 30 days. I'm even going to mark it in my bible and on my calendar so I don't forget! Are you and David praying together over this daily? Forgive me if I have spoken out of place. You are a beautiful example of how to fill God's role as a wife and you have many times since you've been married caused me to see that I am not the wife I should be and inspired me towards godly change. Vent anytime! I'll listen and pray! Illness can cloud a person’s judgment. Fatigue and pain make us irritable, irrational, irresponsible, and even combative. He needs you to do exactly what you’re doing, whether he thinks so or not. If you stopped, where would he be? It’s not just a submission issue, either. You two have become one flesh and that flesh has to be cared for, even when it’s difficult.
I often tell Daniel that I am his “refinement process.” I say so jokingly, but I know it’s true. Maybe this is part of yours. :)
I’m kind of rambling here, but the core of it is you have to persist. Being agressive about his care doesn’t mean you’re not submissive. It means you’re keeping your vows and will have a satisfactory answer for God someday when He asks how you handled these trials. Maybe you need to go further. Maybe you need to make the appointments and show up at work to take him. Or find creative ways to reward him when he takes his medication (cookies, X-Box time, massage, etc.).
And it’s okay to go before God in prayer when you’re angry, exhausted, and frustrated. Just don’t stop going to Him with all your needs. When you’re feeling especially tried and in need of strength, post here and on FB that you need prayer NOW and then trust Him to fill you up as we lift you up. Most of us struggle with feelings that He isn’t listening or doesn’t care, but we have to trust Him and His promises and not our own doubts. Take a minute with God now and re-commit to glorifying Him with your role as David’s wife and greatest earthly blessing.
I will commit now to praying for your strength and spirit daily for 30 days. I’m even going to mark it in my bible and on my calendar so I don’t forget! Are you and David praying together over this daily?
Forgive me if I have spoken out of place. You are a beautiful example of how to fill God’s role as a wife and you have many times since you’ve been married caused me to see that I am not the wife I should be and inspired me towards godly change. Vent anytime! I’ll listen and pray!

]]> By: Young Wife http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-194 Young Wife Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:54:16 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-194 Hey, Kristy. David doesn't have the time and energy to fill out all the paperwork and make all the phone calls. He's in so much pain, and it's one of the ways I can help him. I'm not a "full time caretaker", but I do take care of David. He's doing good to keep working, so pretty much everything else is up to me. I'm just glad I'm not working full time so that I <em>can</em> take care of him. And yeah, we can have joy even when things are bad. Sometimes you just have to sing that old song, "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" We love you, too! Rachel, thanks for the book recommendation. Darlene, the name of that website is hilarious! Communication is huge. Hey, Kristy. David doesn’t have the time and energy to fill out all the paperwork and make all the phone calls. He’s in so much pain, and it’s one of the ways I can help him. I’m not a “full time caretaker”, but I do take care of David. He’s doing good to keep working, so pretty much everything else is up to me. I’m just glad I’m not working full time so that I can take care of him. And yeah, we can have joy even when things are bad. Sometimes you just have to sing that old song, “The joy of the Lord is my strength!” We love you, too!
Rachel, thanks for the book recommendation.
Darlene, the name of that website is hilarious! Communication is huge.

]]> By: his mother http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-193 his mother Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:13:18 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-193 I know what you mean . . . as wives we want to encourage our husbands but we don't want to be placed into the role of sounding like his mother. I found this website, listed below, regarding communication skills between men and women. It had some thoughts and ideas. Better communication is something all marriages need. http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008/01/why-are-women-so-strange-and-men-so-weird.html lol his mother I know what you mean . . . as wives we want to encourage our husbands but we don’t want to be placed into the role of sounding like his mother.

I found this website, listed below, regarding communication skills between men and women. It had some thoughts and ideas. Better communication is something all marriages need.

http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008/01/why-are-women-so-strange-and-men-so-weird.html

lol
his mother

]]> By: Rachel Landers http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-192 Rachel Landers Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:59:06 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-192 I think that it is perfectly normal to struggle with being a submissive wife. It takes a lot of work and sometimes I fail miserably. I love the book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Chancey & McDonald. It has lots of practical advice and it explains the authors' struggles to be the ideal wife found in Proverbs 31. Hang in there! I think that it is perfectly normal to struggle with being a submissive wife. It takes a lot of work and sometimes I fail miserably. I love the book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Chancey & McDonald. It has lots of practical advice and it explains the authors’ struggles to be the ideal wife found in Proverbs 31. Hang in there!

]]> By: Kristy http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-191 Kristy Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:49:08 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-191 Barry was right about something he said... He said that fighting arthritis and working a full time job is like having two jobs. Although... as his sister -and you have him read this! :)... David needs to start filling out his own paperwork and making his own doctor calls and taking his own medicine. You are there to help if one or two papers slip through the cracks or if he needs you to set up a doctor's visit every now and then. He is responsible for his health! Whether he wants to take care of himself or not is another issue! :) Be strong Ash. Something else that was told to me a while ago and something I have learned to do... was to find my emotional safety circle. Think of it as a hoolie hoop. You can't let someone get so close as to stop your own hooliehoop. When someone in the family is having a hard time with something it should not effect your own personal happiness. With my three boys, I have done better emotionally as I have learned to keep my happy hoolie hoop going - No matter what! Also... I would keep the "wife" role separate from the "caretaker" roll. Caretakers are there to take total care of you and this role is not appropriate for Ashley at this point in your lives. I hope that advice helps! When Dave gets a full time job with benefits... It will be a good day for all! I know you are hurting David. Hang in there things will get better! ... the house selling and job changes are stressful as well... Love you DASH! Barry was right about something he said… He said that fighting arthritis and working a full time job is like having two jobs. Although… as his sister -and you have him read this! :) … David needs to start filling out his own paperwork and making his own doctor calls and taking his own medicine. You are there to help if one or two papers slip through the cracks or if he needs you to set up a doctor’s visit every now and then. He is responsible for his health! Whether he wants to take care of himself or not is another issue! :) Be strong Ash.

Something else that was told to me a while ago and something I have learned to do… was to find my emotional safety circle. Think of it as a hoolie hoop. You can’t let someone get so close as to stop your own hooliehoop. When someone in the family is having a hard time with something it should not effect your own personal happiness. With my three boys, I have done better emotionally as I have learned to keep my happy hoolie hoop going – No matter what!

Also… I would keep the “wife” role separate from the “caretaker” roll. Caretakers are there to take total care of you and this role is not appropriate for Ashley at this point in your lives.

I hope that advice helps! When Dave gets a full time job with benefits… It will be a good day for all!

I know you are hurting David. Hang in there things will get better!

… the house selling and job changes are stressful as well…

Love you DASH!

]]> By: Young Wife http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-186 Young Wife Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:47:43 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-186 Thanks, Kerri! I really appreciate it. I am so sorry you're having to go on Medicare. How will this affect your treatment? Thanks, Kerri! I really appreciate it. I am so sorry you’re having to go on Medicare. How will this affect your treatment?

]]> By: Kerri Sweeris http://youngwifestale.com/blog/chronicillness/arthritis-blogpost/aghhh/comment-page-1/#comment-185 Kerri Sweeris Tue, 16 Jun 2009 23:40:24 +0000 http://youngwifestale.com/blog/?p=448#comment-185 Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I know how tough it is dealing with all the insurance garbage and financial issues...my husband's work insurance is forcing me to go on Medicare because I'm on disability. The CITY (he works for the city we live in) didn't say I had to change, the insurance company did, because they're sick of paying my bills! As far as the submission goes...I don't think getting after your husband to take care of himself is not being submissive. I mean, if your husband tells you to do something ungodly you wouldn't ve submissive right? God's law trumps your husband's wishes. And since we are not our own, and are bought for a price, since we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, I'd say you have a RESPONSIBILITY to encourage him (however forcefully!) to take care of himself! Try to keep your chin up... Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I know how tough it is dealing with all the insurance garbage and financial issues…my husband’s work insurance is forcing me to go on Medicare because I’m on disability. The CITY (he works for the city we live in) didn’t say I had to change, the insurance company did, because they’re sick of paying my bills!

As far as the submission goes…I don’t think getting after your husband to take care of himself is not being submissive. I mean, if your husband tells you to do something ungodly you wouldn’t ve submissive right? God’s law trumps your husband’s wishes. And since we are not our own, and are bought for a price, since we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, I’d say you have a RESPONSIBILITY to encourage him (however forcefully!) to take care of himself!

Try to keep your chin up…

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