When my husband and I were engaged, my mother told me, “I don’t care whether or not you go for pre-marital counseling. Nothing can prepare you for marriage.” She was right, but not even my mother knew the challenges my husband and I would face in our marriage.

On July 8, we celebrated five years of marriage. Those five years have been dominated by health problems. It started off with my health. I had severe TMJ Disorder and a knee injury. Then in our second year of marriage, my husband, David, was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis. Although he was being treated, he continued to get worse until our third year of marriage when he began experiencing flares that left him bedridden for days at a time.

Premarital counseling doesn’t cover bathing and dressing your twenty-something husband. There isn’t a chapter about chronic pain interfering with intimacy nestled between the chapters on budgets and chores in the books they give you. No one gives you advice on what to do when your health insurance doesn’t cover the medication your husband needs that costs as much as your monthly mortgage payment. And they sure didn’t tell us how desperate for a cure we’d be. We’ve tried just about everything, some things like chiropractic care and acupuncture, with better results than others, like eliminating dairy from his diet.

Last December, David’s Psoriatic Arthritis went into remission. It was an answer to prayer, but we have no idea how long it will last. He could go back to being bedridden at any time. He still has pain every day, but he, and consequently we, are living a more normal life now. We can go to the movies. David can take our dog for short walks. We are so grateful.

The two things that have sustained me during the worst of times are my Christian faith and our support system, comprised of our family, a few close friends (including other young people with chronic illnesses I’ve met online) and our church. However, I think those two things would help any marriage struggling with any problem. Marriage is a lot of work. Whether you face cancer, a chronic illness, infertility or financial problems, marriage is hard.

One thing I do know: even with our health problems, I am a happier, better person for being married to my husband.

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We’re back in New Jersey. Christmas in Dallas was wonderful! I was thrilled to meet my newest nephew and spend time with all of my family.

The good people at the animal shelter finally called us back on December 28. As soon as I walked in with the dog, they said, “Your owners are looking for you!” Yes, the owners had called animal control, and so we have another happy ending.

David’s brother-in-law just finished chemotherapy, and as a show of support, David shaved his head just before we left.

He wore a hat much of the time.

Brother #3 is a senior in high school, but my parents still find toys that my brothers and I enjoy. This year, it was the Nerf machine gun. We had so much fun with it!

I was very concerned about not having my night guard in Dallas. I anticipated not being able to eat solid foods by New Year’s Day. However, I’m really fine. I had a few pains here and there and sore teeth, but nothing as bad as I imagined, praise God!

David is home sick today. We both had sore throats from allergies in Dallas, but just before we left, David picked up a cold from a friend.

It’s good to have Henry back, but David and I both can’t wait to go home again!

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David and I are home for Christmas! It’s so good to be back in Texas. This summer when we were here on vacation, we rescued a stray, and we’ve done it again this time.

We’re still waiting for animal control to be open so we can take her to the shelter. My parents have been nice enough to let her stay at their house in the mean time.

I left my night guard in our apartment in New Jersey. My jaw is starting to hurt, and I’m concerned that I won’t be able to eat solid foods by New Year’s.

David’s psoriatic arthritis has remained stable, even with flying, changing climates and wrestling with his nephews, praise God!

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Sometimes, when David’s had a rough day at work, he tells me he wants to be a farmer. He says he wants to live off the land, and get away from all technology.

I have killed more plants than I care to remember. So when I won this bonsai tree from My Blessed Life, I told David now was his chance. His chance to be a farmer. If he could keep the bonsai alive, maybe he could grow some basil for me. From there, who knows? Farming fruit trees or raised vegetable beds? Maybe a real farm when we retire?

Also, I’ve come to recognize my crafting as an addiction. It’s hereditary. My mother can do some amazing crafts. She even sews a little, unlike me who is lucky to be able to put a button back on a pair of pants for David.

My mother can actually make curtains. She can even do sculpture and make those amazing Martha Stewart bows for packages. Recently, she made a prop for Brother #3′s senior pictures. I saw the picture and thought it was a prop the photographer had on hand. She’s that good.

I mentioned the prop to David, and said, “That’s where I get my crafting addiction from!”

“Did you think you got it from your father?” David asked.

“Well, not necessarily, but you know, he did tile the fireplace in the old house, and he makes those paratrooper bracelets. Oh, and he does all that fancy woodwork.”

“You were doomed from birth.”

Crafting is my doom.

Here’s a link to a delicious gluten free meatloaf that David loves. I use rice milk to keep it dairy free. Here’s a link to the star tree topper I plan to make for our Christmas tree this year.

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Brother #3 is back in Dallas. We had a great time while he was here. We decided that Pat’s on 9th Street in Philly really is the “King of Steaks”. David had someone to play video games with, and we all got to try “water ice” which is kind of like a slush.

Henry didn’t do too well with Brother #3. He freaked out and barked at him at the oddest times. Right before we left for the airport, Henry went crazy when Brother #3 set his cereal bowl down. I don’t understand why Henry acted so badly. He didn’t have any issues with David’s father when he was here a few weeks ago.

Henry’s just lucky I have such a nice brother. Another brother might have killed him after the third incident.

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Brother #3 and I took a trip to Gettysburg.

We saw the cyclorama, and it was amazing. It’s an incredible painting in a round room. It wraps around so you are surrounded by a 360 degree view of one of the battles at Gettysburg in 1863. Of course, they don’t let you take pictures.

We could have spent two days there. The museum had so many interesting things to see. We didn’t get to spend nearly enough time there. I had to get back to pick David up from work.

Yes, we decided to climb to the top of this observation tower.

It was an amazing view.

Driving through the different battle sights, we were amazed at the scope of the battles. It took awhile to drive through, and the soldiers were on foot. Seeing Little Round Top and Devil’s Den made the charges even more incredible.

By the way, Brother #3 couldn’t sleep a few weeks ago, so he read through all of my blog posts. These were the two he talked to me about. Why I asked to be homeschooled and the awful experience with my wisdom teeth. It’s funny to me that neither of these had anything to do with Psoriatic Arthritis.

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Brother #3 and I went to Philadelphia today. It was a fun day. Here we are at Independence Hall.

His main goal on this trip was to eat a real Philly Cheesesteak. I was happy to oblige.

I squished mine down as much as I could, and was able to eat about half of it before my jaw gave out.

Speaking of my jaw, I met with my new TMJ Disorder specialist this week. I had hoped to see my specialist in Dallas whenever we went home. Unfortunately, he will be out of town the week we’re there. My Dallas specialist was able to recommend a colleague of his in Pennsylvania.

I wore a hole in my night guard, so I had to be seen soon. At least I didn’t bit this one in two, right? This specialist is an hour and half away, but he’s one of the few that doesn’t think surgery is the answer, so it’s worth the drive.

As stable as I am, I really hate to complain. I don’t even consider myself to be in pain. I feel some discomfort, but compared to how I was two years ago, I feel incredible.

The doctor did a thorough exam, and when he touched my occipital lobes (at the base of the skull) I winced, and told him it hurts to wear sunglasses. He said he was glad I was doing so well, but he thought he could adjust the night guard so I don’t even have that discomfort.

I’m so thankful for these amazing doctors!

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Four years ago today, David and I said our vows.

Four years ago to the hour, I was probably finished with my manicure and pedicure, eating Chick-fil-A with my cousin.

As we exited the church

We’ve been through a lot in four years, but God provides. I’m so thankful for David. It’s really nice being married to your best friend.

Love you, David! Happy Anniversary!

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David’s father got to come visit us. He was headed to New York on business. He arrived Wednesday afternoon, and we had a great time visiting over dinner. It was so nice to see some family.

The next morning David got up early and went to the Apple Store to get the Iphone 4. FIL and I got up later, and went to meet him for breakfast. If you were anywhere near an Apple Store Wednesday, you probably understand why we had to go eat breakfast without him. The line was insane.

I’m not sure when people had started camping out, but I have to ask, “Why?” I get that it’s an awesome phone. I just can’t imagine wanting to have it that badly on the day it came out. After we ate, we brought David a to-go breakfast. He got the Iphone 4. In fact, he even got one for me. The biggest draw for me is the fact that I can take pictures. We still haven’t found our camera. We’re hoping it’s in storage in Dallas with our wedding china and guest bedroom furniture.

Thursday afternoon, our air conditoner stopped blowing cool air. It was still blowing air, but it was just like running a fan. Maintenance came out quickly and worked on it for about an hour, until a bad storm knocked out all the power in our area.

When David got home from work, we still didn’t have power. I couldn’t use the stove, the oven or the microwave. The electric company said over 70,000 homes were without power in our area, and they had no idea when we’d have power back. At 8:30 we decided to go find a restaurant with power. We drove quite a ways until we found a McDonald’s. It was PACKED, but they still had some food. After we ate, we bought bags of ice at a gas station so we could keep David’s medicine cold. We were already in bed when the power came back on at 11.

I had not had fast food in quite some time, so I woke up with a horrible stomach ache Friday morning. I took a Pepcid, and an hour a half later it had done nothing. The maintenance man was working on our AC by 8:30. I was really glad he came, but it hurt so much to move I really didn’t want to answer the door. I don’t think I’ll be eating McDonald’s again any time soon.

The air conditioning was quickly restored, and we got a wonderful surprise. FIL’s business meeting was canceled, so he got to come back and spend another night with us!

It was a great week, but phew! We’re tired. David sees his new rheumatologist this week, and we found out Brother #3 is coming for a visit in July. Can’t wait!

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My father can’t stand people who don’t carry cash. He’s seen a few parents at soccer games who had children that were dehydrated, but they couldn’t buy their kid a Gatorade or bottle of water because they only had credit cards and of course concession stands don’t accept Visa.

So, a few years ago I went to watch my Dad run a half marathon. David had just gotten a promotion. I had just received a Christmas bonus. I pulled into the American Airlines Center Premium Parking Garage and realized I only had $1 in my wallet. Oh yeah. Imagine my chagrin when I had to call and ask my dad for cash.

He brought me some cash, and I parked. He wouldn’t even let me pay him back. He said, “You’re my daughter I don’t care if you don’t carry cash.” Now, when we’re out and about I often say, “Hey, Dad! I’ve got cash!”

Hope y’all have a great Father’s Day!

Love,
A Young Wife

P.S. If you’re still in need of a Father’s Day gift, check out my post on what not to get Dad.

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