Being back in Texas is wonderful. We are surrounded by beauty, delicious food, family and friends. I thank God for bringing us back home.

But heaven will be better than Texas. This world is not our home. There will be no Psoriatic Arthritis in heaven. David isn’t feeling as well here. I’m terrified that he’s going to start flaring again.

I think God must be using our move to New Jersey and our health problems to change the desires of our hearts. I thought I was thankful for our possessions. Then half our stuff was put in storage while we were in New Jersey. I had a new appreciation for beauty (South Jersey was ugly) and fully furnished, decorated homes.

More and more, David and I are understanding that this is not our home. Our health problems make us long for heaven. Our sufferings help us store our treasures in heaven.

Matthew 6:19-21 Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

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God blessed us by sending us back to Texas. God performed a minor miracle by making David a remote employee for his company in New Jersey on a trial basis.

I am so thankful for those things, but those were things we prayed for. We asked for those things to happen. Something else incredible has happened. Something I hadn’t even thought to ask God for.

The company David works for is keeping us on their health insurance plan during the 90 day trial period. We will not have to pay for COBRA.

It’s awesome. I am literally overwhelmed by God’s providence in this situation. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ve seen me talk about the nightmare issues we had with COBRA. God has spared me from so much emotional stress and anxiety, not to mention the huge expense of paying for COBRA.

I am blessed.

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David has employment past our move date! At approximately the same time I was writing my last post, asking for prayers regarding David finding a job in Dallas, David’s boss told him they were making him a remote employee.

His company has never had a remote employee. The board has approved making him a remote part time employee for a three month trial period. He’ll lose three hours a week, but he won’t have to pay union dues. We’ll have to pay COBRA for two months, but at the end of the three months, his boss and the CIO are pushing hard for him to be hired back as full time.

I am overwhelmed by God’s providential love. I am so grateful for all our family and friends who pray for us. Yesterday, our prayers were answered quickly! It’s not guaranteed that the company will hire him full time at the end of the three months, but we’re not worried about it.

I hadn’t let myself get excited about moving home until we got this news. What if David found a job in West Texas, New Mexico or Arizona while we were living with family in Dallas? What if I got into screaming matches with my brothers every day?

Now, I’m dreaming of crafting with my aunts and cousins, wakeboarding all summer, seeing my nieces and nephews every week, salsa, enchiladas, Whataburger, avocados that cost less than $1 a piece, Henry having a yard again…

Thank you, Lord, for providing for us!

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Psalm 107:21-22

21 Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
22 And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!

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Then Sings My Soul by Robert J. Morgan tells the stories behind 150 popular Christian hymns. Mr. Morgan writes about the songwriters, sharing the hardships they faced and how they came to faith in Christ. Reading the stories also gives the reader a lesson in church history, with some hymns dating back to eighth century, A.D. Each story is accompanied by the music and lyrics to its corresponding hymn.

This is one of the best books I’ve read in quite some time. Reading the heartbreaking story behind Now Thank We All Our God so close to Thanksgiving was very timely, and makes me feel ashamed for not giving thanks more often. Another hymn of Thanksgiving, We Gather Together, had a surprising story behind it. It was written in 1597 to celebrate Holland’s freedom from Spain. There were so many hymns written during times of religious persecution. It was truly inspiring to read of the faith of Christian brothers and sisters.

My favorite hymn, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing was written in 1758 in England, by Robert Robinson for his sermon on Pentecost Sunday. Just as I am was written by a woman with a chronic illness. I think you get more out of songs when you know a little bit of history like that.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone. It would make an excellent Christmas gift for pastors, music ministers, musicians and Christians in general.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Hebrews 10:19-25 (ESV)

19Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Well, it’s official. David and I are members of a church here in New Jersey. We joined with mixed emotions. We’re happy to have a church home, but we want to be back in our Dallas church.

Many of the other churches we visited here were not friendly. At one church, no one spoke to us, even when they handed us a bulletin. This church has made us feel quite welcome. They’re quite accommodating to people with disabilities. It’s quite impressive for a church that averages less than 100 on Sunday mornings. Most importantly, they have excellent, Biblical, expository preaching. We’re very blessed to have found this church, and we hope to be a blessing to them, as well.

Church membership and being active in a home church is important to David and me. Christ loved the church. He called it his bride. There are many examples in the New Testament of how important the church is to God. If you’d like to learn more about why church membership is important, I’d recommend Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris.

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After Maegan’s incredible guest post, I thought I’d explain why I’ve been talking about eating vegetables.

I do not like New Jersey. It is not a nice place. But New Jersey has been good for us as a couple. Being thousands of miles from every single person we know has forced us to rely on each other. Literally, months went by before I met anyone other than the apartment complex manager and our leasing agent.

Getting the kennel for Henry has helped a lot, but I still feel like I don’t have any friends. Does the pastor’s family at our church here count, or are they obligated to be nice to everyone? If it wasn’t for Skype, I think I would have lost my mind. And I’m so thankful that all our family is on AT&T so we get free mobile to mobile minutes.

New Jersey has also been good for me as a writer. The forced isolation and complete lack of activity has given me a chance to start writing a book. I’m 20,000 words in. We’ll see if I can get it published when it’s finished, but I never would have gotten this far living in Dallas.

So, as much as I hate, loathe, despise and abominate New Jersey, I know God has us here for a reason. New Jersey is like vegetables. It doesn’t taste very good, but it makes us healthier.

It’s ironic that I’m comparing anything negative to vegetables. I’m the girl that loves broccoli. Maybe I should say New Jersey is like kale.

Head on over to In Through the Out Door to read my guest post!

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Thanks to my best friend, Maegan, for writing this post! Check out her blog here.

This morning, I didn’t want to get up out of bed. I didn’t want to take care of my dogs. I just wanted to lay there. So I did, and I wondered if I was depressed or if I had a major hormone imbalance. After a few moments of deliberation I decided that, no it wasn’t either of those things.

I really don’t have anything to be upset about. I live in America, the land of the free (unless we let Obama change that) and the home of the brave. I’m loved by family and friends and my wonderful husband. Our marriage is special but it is normal in its imperfection. Sam isn’t perfect and I’m not either. We are just like everyone else, we fight, we cuddle, we do fun things together, we annoy each other and we have amazing sex.

We have two dogs and a cat that bring joy to our lives. We love to love them and take care of them. Ivy (our newest addition) has taken some getting used to but she is so cute it’s hard to stay upset with her.

Sam graduated college this spring and received a promotion at his job enabling me to quit mine and work full time on my book. We don’t have children yet (by choice) so there is no extra pressure to provide for extra mouths.

So what is my deal?

My will is in limbo. I feel like a stretch Armstrong doll who’s about to be pulled in half. I feel like my stretching tolerance level is about to come abruptly to an end and I am going to come to pieces. Has God ever damaged someone from pulling too hard? Probably not, but I want to believe that God is a mean butt hole because it makes my tantrums more justifiable.

You say to yourself, “God doesn’t pull. You must be resisting Him. Your suffering is in your lack of submission to God.” A year ago, I would have thought the same thing. I would have looked at this situation and scoffed. Obviously, that person doesn’t have the spiritual tenacity to withstand the awesome call of God on their lives. They are just not prepared enough, not holy enough, not spiritual enough.

I’m singing quite another tune now. How ignorant of me to think such a thing. True there are times when God asks us to do a simple task and it goes rather roughly because of our lack of submission. However, there are going to be times in my life when there is not enough spirituality to prepare me for things God is going to ask me to do. These times are when God digs way down into my soul and roots out my true human nature. The sin in me that only God can see. And that scares me. There will not be enough prayers or encouraging words. Just tears and brokenness and tears in my soul.

When an athlete works a muscle to make it stronger they tear the muscle to make it grow. God is strengthening my soul by working it, tearing it. Like an athlete pushes his body, God is pushing me to my breaking point by asking me to do something my flesh does not think possible. I thought for sure that we had passed my breaking point long ago but God is showing me something about myself. I’m stronger than I think. A lot stronger.

I have tried to submit myself to this strengthening, to this purification. I have tried to reconcile my soul and my body and my mind and my will but I have failed in every way. I ask myself, “What kind of idiot willingly touches a hot stove over and over?” I have begged God to release me, I have cried and complained and kicked and screamed like a five year old. I’ve told God over and over that I’m not worthy of this task. I’ve begged him to find someone else. I am finally resigned to the fact that I will not be able to make myself in anyway like or be comfortable in this. I told God if He wants me to come out on the other side without a scar he will have to do it for me. He will have to carry me and make a way.
I struggle with the misconception of Christianity. I was under the impression that my life would be a frolic through a meadow full of flowers and puppies and kittens and unicorns instead of a war that would bring me closer to an ultimate peace. It’s not that God didn’t clarify; it is simply that I heard only what I wanted to hear. I can look back and see that everything in my life God has asked me do has been in my best interest. I can see that now in my present circumstance, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Unfortunately, my release from this spiritual strengthening is not happening. It’s not going to happen because it’s like my good friend Ashley says, “Eating your vegetables is not fun but it’s good for you.” God’s strengthening, his purification is like eating my vegetables, not at all fun but in the end it is what will bring me closer to Him. I just never thought eating my vegetables could be so terrible.

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The Jesus You Can’t Ignore by John MacArthur is about how bold and confrontational Jesus Christ was in his earthly ministry. MacArthur expounds on several passages from the gospels, focusing mainly on Jesus’ interactions with the Jewish religious leaders of the day.

I was disappointed with this book. I’ve read one of his other books, Twelve Extraordinary Women, and I enjoyed it very much.

MacArthur’s message is a good one. He’s right: Jesus wasn’t mild or politically correct. Christians should follow his example at times and be bold and take a stand for the truth. We should also turn the other cheek at times. I just felt he could have shortened this book into an essay. Several chapters felt redundant to me.

MacArthur also makes it clear that most churches today are too concerned with not offending people, and not concerned enough with preaching the truth of the gospel. It’s good stuff, it just wasn’t a great book. If I had to give a one sentence summary of the book it would be, “Jesus didn’t like the Pharisees, and he publicly told them so.”

There was one small detail I appreciated and would like to point out. My husband suffers from debilitating arthritis, and as MacArthur expounds upon Jesus healing a crippled man in John 5, he mentions that not all illness is a direct result of sin. You just can’t imagine how some people think and imply that illness and disabilities are only a sign of God’s wrath.

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers and Book Sneeze in exchange for writing a review.

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Sunday we visited a wonderful church. The people were so kind and friendly. It was so different from the other churches we’ve visited in South Jersey.

Many churches here have hard wooden pews. This church has padded chairs which is a big plus for David’s back pain. The church is about five minutes from our apartment. David and I both enjoyed the hymns although we were a little startled to see an accordion next to the piano! The sermon was good, expository preaching. The pastor was out of town, and the old pastor who is retired came back to preach. We’ll definitely be visiting again!

In August we’re going home for a week. David is going to be the best man in his best friend’s wedding.

We’ve decided to drive down. Flying is really difficult for him, but he’s pretty comfortable in our car. It’s a 24 hour drive from Camden to Dallas. We’ll break it up into two 12 hour days and spend the night at a pet friendly hotel. Boarding Henry is ridiculously expensive.

I’m going to spend an entire day doing crafts with my mother, and an entire day with Maegan probably talking and eating Texas food. David and I fell asleep one night telling each other all the Texas food we want to eat on our trip. Whataburger ketchup and french fries, Mena’s tamales, the Santa Barbara at Celebrity Bakery, On the Border and El Chico’s everything…

Also, we’re looking forward to seeing David’s brother-in-law, Rodney. Rodney was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Please pray for him as he starts chemotherapy. And as the wife of a chronically ill man, I would really appreciate prayer for David’s sister, Melissa. This is just as hard on her as it is on her husband.

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